In For The Hat Trick

In May, when we look back on the season that was, January 8 will stand out as the day it all went bonkers. 

Budweiser, the new official sponsors of the FA Cup, must have been delighted.

A competition supposedly bereft of its magic was the backdrop to arguably the wildest morning in recent footballing history.

Even with Darren Fletcher unavailable, Tom Cleverley injured and Anderson predictably mediocre, no one saw it coming.

Paul Scholes’ retirement last summer had a sense of finality; conventional wisdom held that the once-great midfielder had called it quits at just the right time. Scholes’ testimonial was marked by a 10-minute cameo from youngster Paul Pogba, a midfielder that didn’t look out-of-place in a United side featuring several first-team players.

Sir Alex Ferguson may not have been particularly happy about Scholes’ retirement, but he was resigned to it. United’s intermittent attempts to sign Wesley Sneijder over the summer confirmed their desire for a new creator. The club was  moving on.

And then, on Sunday morning, Paul Scholes announced his return to professional football.

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Thierry Henry’s statue now stands proudly in front of Arsenal’s Emirates Stadium, but Henry is not the player he was in 2007, when he sealed a sixteen-million-pound move to Barcelona. The mercurial goalscorer renowned for his pace, skill and movement is no more. Henry is a slower and more temperamental version of his former self. While he is still capable of isolated moments of brilliance, his star is waning.

For Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, signing Henry is an opportunity to remind beleaguered supporters of the silver lined days of yore, and to inspire inexperienced players like Theo Walcott and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to emulate their illustrious predecessor. Wenger understands that, while Henry’s impact on the field is likely to be negligible, his presence in the dressing room could be priceless.

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Anders Lindegaard is not short on self-confidence. In January the well-built, combative Dane told reporters that he hadn’t joined United to “pick my nose.” That was before Lindegaard realized he was the only goalkeeper in Premier League history never to have conceded a goal.

The six-foot-four-inch keeper cultivates an aura of invincibility. “Calmfidence – 6” Lindegaard tweeted on Boxing Day. Lindegaard’s Twitter account provides a window into his personality. His 65,279 followers are willing to tolerate his unyielding arrogance. Anders Lindegaard does what he wants.

He started the season as the clear understudy to United’s big-money goalie, David De Gea, who is meek and skinny where Lindegaard is boastful and broad. But since then the hierarchy has blurred.

Lindegaard has transmitted his off-field swagger to the Manchester United penalty area; winning over fans with his commanding direction and hot temper. The anemic De Gea is sporadically brilliant but has failed to live-up to pre-season expectations.

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With the year edging towards completion, it’s time to review a great twelve months for footballing innovation..

1. The Blizzard– The best idea of 2011. The Blizzard is a quarterly publication designed to defy the constraints of mainstream media. Edited by Jonathan Wilson, the magazine/journal gives a variety of high quality writers the space to stretch their creative muscles.

The Blizzard

2. A Life Too Short, by Ronald Reng- In a year where yet another celebrity sportsman took his own life, Reng’s book is an important reminder of football’s brutal pressures. A Life Too Short is the biography of former Germany goalkeeper Robert Enke. It details Enke’s struggles with depression and eventual suicide. Moving, but never sentimental.

A Life Too Short

3. Fox Soccer.com- While Fox Soccer Channel still resembles the work of an intoxicated twelve year-old, Fox deserves to be commended for its success on the online platform. Foxsoccer.com is a well-designed, smoothly operating website featuring coverage of all Europe’s major leagues, MLS and South America. Editorials by the likes of James Horncastle, Rupert Fryer, Andy Brassell and Amy Lawrence enhance an impressive product.

Fox Soccer

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With hair spiked and narcissistic boot inscription glittering, Cristiano Ronaldo will emerge from the Bernebeau tunnel to the sort of fanfare once reserved solely for Michael Jackson and The Beatles. A group of smiling Japanese tourists tucked away in a corner will enjoy 10 seconds of celebrity, as their “We Love Cristiano” poster greets the eyes of watchers around the world. A stadium of fans will rise together to cheer one-half of modern football’s most overwrought conundrum.

Several seconds later a shorter, less assuming young man will make his entrance. This time, though, the screams of tourists in the stands will be drowned out by the whistles of 80,000 Merengues. In Madrid, they’ve never quite taken to Lionel Messi.

Then statistics will appear on the television. Cristiano Ronaldo has scored 26 goals in all competitions this season (including internationals). Messi betters that record by three. Just one goal on Sunday would tip the balance for either player, though. Goals in the Classico tend to take on a significance that transcends the numerical.

“Who is the best in the world?” Jose Mourinho asked in 2010. “There are two options, Cristiano? Messi?” Such is the footballing public’s almost unanimous consensus. They are the figureheads of Europe’s two best teams; it is natural that choice comes down to them and them alone.

Choosing between them has sparked intense wrangling.

In a cyber powered footballing forum dominated by Michael Cox devotees and facilitated by new-fangled Opta technology, the argument blossomed from pub-table banter into global controversy. It will never be resolved and, really, no one wants it to be. “Sports Entertainment,” as Rory Smith dubbed it in  The Blizzard, feeds off of such dull yet  addictive melodrama.

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