In For The Hat Trick

Cristiano Ronaldo has spent the last decade speeding past international defenders. But now, according to Reuters, he may finally have encountered an insurmountable obstacle: United States trademark law. Rhode Island-based entrepreneur Christopher Renzi says he trademarked Ronaldo’s CR7 moniker in 2009, and he’s suing in federal court to prevent JBS Textile Group, the company that manufactures Ronaldo’s clothing line, from selling CR7-branded underwear in the US.

Renzi also has a clothing line, but he’s best known for his exercise app, the “CR7 Workout,” which he promises will get you in shape in just a matter of weeks – so that “when your friends challenge you to do 50 push-ups, you can say…‘No sweat!’”

Interesting. I know of a different Ronaldo who might benefit from Renzi’s fitness regime…

Louis van Gaal’s decision to leave Bebe – the Portuguese winger Sir Alex Ferguson bought for nearly eight million pounds in 2010 – out of Manchester United’s 25-man pre-season squad marks the beginning of the end of one of the strangest Old Trafford careers in recent history. For those of you who haven’t kept up with developments on the Bebe front, here’s a quick summary of his first two years at United.

• August 2010: United signs him for only slightly less than what Real Madrid will pay for Mesut Ozil a few days later. Early reports indicate Sir Alex has never seen him play. Early reports also indicate he once participated in the Homeless World Cup. Early reports turn out to be right about Sir Alex but wrong about the Homeless World Cup.
• November 2010: He produces what one YouTube user later terms the “Bebe Crossing Show” during a Premier League match against Wolves.
• June 2011: He signs a season-long loan deal with Besiktas, then breaks his leg and misses most of the season.
• March 2012: He returns from injury in time to appear in a league game against Istanbul Belediyespor.
• April 2012: He breaches a strict 2:30 a.m. curfew, and the Besiktas coach kicks him off the team.
• December 2012: He scrapes past Alexander Buttner in the 2012 Manchester United Christmas Challenge. This hard-fought victory remains the highlight of his United career.

To be fair, since then Bebe has scored a reasonable number of goals during loan spells in the Portuguese league, probably because the Christmas Challenge boosted his confidence. He is expected to sign for Benfica any day now. I hope, for the sake of the Benfica fans who sit behind each goal, that someone in Portugal teaches him how to cross.

I’ve written a review of ESPN’s World Cup coverage for Deadspin.

ESPN’s coverage of the 2010 World Cup received widespread acclaim, both from lay viewers experiencing soccer for the first time and from hardcore fans desperate for a Marcelo Balboa-less tournament. This year, ESPN has followed a similar formula, with largely positive results. 

Read the rest of the piece here. 

In last weekend’s New York Times Magazine, Chuck Klosterman discusses an issue every soccer fan has grappled with: the ethics of spoiling match results. Klosterman concludes that “a live event is a form of breaking news” and that therefore no one is morally obliged to keep quiet about the World Cup around friends and coworkers planning to watch games on DVR.

Fair enough, I suppose. But why ruin someone’s viewing experience if you can avoid it? If I hear the score of a game I’ve recorded, it’s usually because one of my so-called friends decided to play a hilarious prank.