Tag Archives: premier league

Today in Narcissistic Goal Celebrations

It was a good day for the noble art of the narcissistic goal celebration.totti selfie

First, in the Premier League, Southampton’s Dusan Tadic flexed his abdominals – I think the medical term is “the Balotelli muscles” – after scoring in a crucial game at Old Trafford.

Then Francesco Totti took a quick selfie in front of the Curva Sud to celebrate his equalizer against Lazio. “I thought about it during the week,” Totti told Sky Sports after the game. “There is this fashion for selfies now.”

There is this fashion for selfies now. I’m torn between admiration for Totti’s ballsiness and despair at his apparently sincere embrace of selfie culture. At least he kept his shirt on.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Mourinho And The Media, Friends Forever

Jose Mourinho has always had a way with words. “It is unfair, really,” former Manchester mourinho presserUnited coach Sir Alex Ferguson, himself a skillful communicator, once said. “He’s good looking. He’s got that sort of George Clooney bit in his hair…. [And] he can speak five languages.” Mourinho – who started his career as an interpreter for English manager Bobby Robson and has coached teams in Portugal, Italy, Spain and England – actually knows six languages. “I think I am a special one,” he famously said at his first Premier League press conference.

The nickname has stuck, and so has Mourinho’s penchant for outrageous one-liners. But his press conferences are more than just an amusing weekly performance. Mourinho’s ability to manufacture headline-worthy sound bites, in whatever language he happens to be speaking at the time, has consistently allowed him to manipulate media coverage. In Mourinho, the English tabloids have found a perfect accomplice: A sly operator as adept at twisting words, and as unapologetic about his real intentions, as the grizzled cynics on Fleet Street.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gus Poyet Hates The Winter Schedule

On Saturday, Sunderland coach Gus Poyet sounded off about the crowded winter newcastle fansschedule. “Playing on [December] 28th is a disgrace,” Poyet said. “If you want to see the best players performing well, you need to make sure you are not playing every two days.”

Poyet has a pretty good point. All the other major European leagues shut down during the holidays. A saner Premier League schedule would prevent injuries, improve morale, and help the England team compete against better-rested rivals at the World Cup.

But the Christmas fixtures aren’t going away anytime soon. Premier League teams play through the end of December for the same reason Newcastle fans take off their shirts during snowstorms: It’s stupid but entertaining, and, crucially, it makes for good TV.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Why Isn’t Wayne Rooney Considered A Great Player?

Wayne Rooney recently earned his 100th England cap in a European Championship Manchester United v Manchester Cityqualifier at Wembley Stadium. He scored in that game, and then netted another two goals in a friendly against Scotland, putting him within reach of Bobby Charlton’s England goal-scoring record. At club level, Rooney has won five Premier League titles, a Champions League, several domestic cups, and a handful of individual awards. And yet many pundits insist that, despite his prodigious talent, he will never join the pantheon of footballing greats.

Rooney’s detractors emphasize a few key criticisms. He has repeatedly underperformed at the World Cup. He has endured long goal-scoring droughts. He can’t control his temper. He smokes cigarettes and eats unhealthy food. But the real reason Rooney hasn’t achieved greatness – or, at least, the kind of greatness pundits recognize – is the same reason he continues to be one of the most interesting players in world football.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

David Moyes: The Toast of Europe

Since Manchester United sacked him last April, David Moyes has been linked to a series of semi-prestigious moyes confusedcoaching jobs. For a while, Galatasaray wanted Moyes, then Inter Milan expressed interest, and now, according to The Guardian, Real Sociedad has placed him on a four-man shortlist. Curiously, Moyes – whose embarrassing, one-dimensional tactics made him the laughingstock of the Premier League – seems to have transformed from a middling British manager into a cosmopolitan football celebrity with a line of European suitors.

As a United fan, I feel it’s my duty to remind Real Sociedad chairman Jokin Aperribay about last season’s 2-0 loss to Olympiakos. And about the home defeat to Newcastle. And about the summer transfer window from hell.

I’m currently sending telepathic warning signals to Spain.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Someone Should Give Malky Mackay A Stress Ball

Earlier this week, Malky Mackay pulled out of the running for the Crystal Palace job after his former club, mackay phoneCardiff City, told the Football Association about his penchant for racist, sexist and homophobic text messages. The Daily Mail managed to dig up a few especially egregious examples.

But the story doesn’t end there. In an official statement, the League Managers Association, essentially a coaches’ union, insisted that Mackay merely engaged in “friendly text message banter” and that (here’s my favorite part) he “felt under great pressure” at the time.

I suppose different coaches handle stress in different ways. David Moyes jogs around the training ground. Arsene Wenger plays with his zipper. Malky Mackay makes offensive remarks about Jews and South Koreans.

I think Mackay should invest in a malleable toy.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Maybe David Moyes Wasn’t United’s Only Problem

David Moyes chose a good day to complain about how Manchester United treated him. This morning’s Mail moyes unitedon Sunday quotes Moyes saying, “I don’t feel I was given time to succeed or fail” at Old Trafford. Yesterday, Louis van Gaal’s back-three-ified United lost 2-1 to Swansea in a game depressingly reminiscent of, erm, last season’s home defeat to Swansea. Meanwhile, Ed Woodward, United’s chief executive, has just two weeks to complete 150 million pounds’ worth of transfer deals. We have been here before. It didn’t end well.

Somewhere in Cheshire, Moyes is hooting with laughter.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Pep Guardiola Gets Mad, Commits Crime of Century

Soccer fans get really upset when players and coaches don’t shake hands with the other team. Remember the guadiola wagWayne Bridge-John Terry incident, when romantic intrigue spilled onto the playing field? Remember the Rio Ferdinand-John Terry incident, when brotherly solidarity compelled Rio to eschew the traditional pre-match greeting? (It’s amazing how many players have spurned Terry’s outstretched hand.) And remember the days when, every time Manchester United played Liverpool, Fox would skip a commercial break in case Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez started slugging each other?

The first #handshakegate of the new season comes from a surprising source: Pep Guardiola, the anti-Mourinho, the guy widely regarded as the classiest manager in European soccer. At the end of Wednesday’s MLS All-Star game, Guardiola refused to shake hands with MLS coach Caleb Porter, because he resented the All-Stars’ aggressive tackling.

Cue the usual sanctimony. “Poor form from the Bayern coaching staff,” Grant Wahl tweeted. “You don’t deserve a Champions League,” added another user. Before long, #disgrace was trending.

In other news, the Premier League’s new concussion protocol does not empower independent doctors to decide whether injured players should reenter the game. It’s time we started complaining about an actual disgrace.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We Are The Champions (Of A Meaningless Pre-Season Tournament)

Last night, Manchester United won the Guinness International Champions Cup – or the Guinness Cup, asguinness cup television commentators are instructed to call it – even though the team isn’t actually a champion. Liverpool, which lost 3-1 to United in the ICC final, isn’t a champion either. In fact, of the eight teams that entered the tournament, only three won trophies last season.

This obvious inconsistency left Fox, the network that broadcast yesterday’s final, with a difficult task: to convince viewers that the game really meant something, that it was more than just an excuse for a pre-season fireworks show. JP Dellacamera pointed out that as the players lined up in the tunnel, they eschewed pre-match greetings and instead stared straight ahead, focussed on the job at hand. Keith Costigan kept insisting that the match represented Javier Hernandez’s last chance to impress Louis van Gaal before next week’s cuts. And Warren Barton touched on the same themes – bravery, spirit, intensity – that animate his analysis (if “animate” and “analysis” are even the right words) of the Champions League.

It was both kind of sad and kind of funny. It was, in short, vintage Fox.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This Article Does Not Contain Fantasy Premier League Tips

The official Fantasy Premier League game has returned for the new season. This is not necessarily goodfpl news.

This year, the opening day of the fantasy football season, which always kicks off long before any actual teams take the field, marks an important milestone in the transition from the high drama of the World Cup to the rather less dramatic mid-July horse-trading of the summer transfer window. (The online football community seems to think that this transition should be carefully stage-managed, lest anyone suffer the psychological letdown that can accompany the end of major tournaments.) Earlier this week, Germany beat Argentina in the World Cup final; the memory of Gotze’s winning goal is still fresh, and pictures of German players consuming alcohol in interesting ways are still surfacing on the Internet. And yet the Fantasy Premier League is already open for business. For better or worse, it’s time to move on.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 286 other followers