Tag Archives: premier league

David Moyes: The Toast of Europe

Since Manchester United sacked him last April, David Moyes has been linked to a series of semi-prestigious moyes confusedcoaching jobs. For a while, Galatasaray wanted Moyes, then Inter Milan expressed interest, and now, according to The Guardian, Real Sociedad has placed him on a four-man shortlist. Curiously, Moyes – whose embarrassing, one-dimensional tactics made him the laughingstock of the Premier League – seems to have transformed from a middling British manager into a cosmopolitan football celebrity with a line of European suitors.

As a United fan, I feel it’s my duty to remind Real Sociedad chairman Jokin Aperribay about last season’s 2-0 loss to Olympiakos. And about the home defeat to Newcastle. And about the summer transfer window from hell.

I’m currently sending telepathic warning signals to Spain.

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Someone Should Give Malky Mackay A Stress Ball

Earlier this week, Malky Mackay pulled out of the running for the Crystal Palace job after his former club, mackay phoneCardiff City, told the Football Association about his penchant for racist, sexist and homophobic text messages. The Daily Mail managed to dig up a few especially egregious examples.

But the story doesn’t end there. In an official statement, the League Managers Association, essentially a coaches’ union, insisted that Mackay merely engaged in “friendly text message banter” and that (here’s my favorite part) he “felt under great pressure” at the time.

I suppose different coaches handle stress in different ways. David Moyes jogs around the training ground. Arsene Wenger plays with his zipper. Malky Mackay makes offensive remarks about Jews and South Koreans.

I think Mackay should invest in a malleable toy.

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Maybe David Moyes Wasn’t United’s Only Problem

David Moyes chose a good day to complain about how Manchester United treated him. This morning’s Mail moyes unitedon Sunday quotes Moyes saying, “I don’t feel I was given time to succeed or fail” at Old Trafford. Yesterday, Louis van Gaal’s back-three-ified United lost 2-1 to Swansea in a game depressingly reminiscent of, erm, last season’s home defeat to Swansea. Meanwhile, Ed Woodward, United’s chief executive, has just two weeks to complete 150 million pounds’ worth of transfer deals. We have been here before. It didn’t end well.

Somewhere in Cheshire, Moyes is hooting with laughter.

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Pep Guardiola Gets Mad, Commits Crime of Century

Soccer fans get really upset when players and coaches don’t shake hands with the other team. Remember the guadiola wagWayne Bridge-John Terry incident, when romantic intrigue spilled onto the playing field? Remember the Rio Ferdinand-John Terry incident, when brotherly solidarity compelled Rio to eschew the traditional pre-match greeting? (It’s amazing how many players have spurned Terry’s outstretched hand.) And remember the days when, every time Manchester United played Liverpool, Fox would skip a commercial break in case Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez started slugging each other?

The first #handshakegate of the new season comes from a surprising source: Pep Guardiola, the anti-Mourinho, the guy widely regarded as the classiest manager in European soccer. At the end of Wednesday’s MLS All-Star game, Guardiola refused to shake hands with MLS coach Caleb Porter, because he resented the All-Stars’ aggressive tackling.

Cue the usual sanctimony. “Poor form from the Bayern coaching staff,” Grant Wahl tweeted. “You don’t deserve a Champions League,” added another user. Before long, #disgrace was trending.

In other news, the Premier League’s new concussion protocol does not empower independent doctors to decide whether injured players should reenter the game. It’s time we started complaining about an actual disgrace.

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We Are The Champions (Of A Meaningless Pre-Season Tournament)

Last night, Manchester United won the Guinness International Champions Cup – or the Guinness Cup, asguinness cup television commentators are instructed to call it – even though the team isn’t actually a champion. Liverpool, which lost 3-1 to United in the ICC final, isn’t a champion either. In fact, of the eight teams that entered the tournament, only three won trophies last season.

This obvious inconsistency left Fox, the network that broadcast yesterday’s final, with a difficult task: to convince viewers that the game really meant something, that it was more than just an excuse for a pre-season fireworks show. JP Dellacamera pointed out that as the players lined up in the tunnel, they eschewed pre-match greetings and instead stared straight ahead, focussed on the job at hand. Keith Costigan kept insisting that the match represented Javier Hernandez’s last chance to impress Louis van Gaal before next week’s cuts. And Warren Barton touched on the same themes – bravery, spirit, intensity – that animate his analysis (if “animate” and “analysis” are even the right words) of the Champions League.

It was both kind of sad and kind of funny. It was, in short, vintage Fox.

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This Article Does Not Contain Fantasy Premier League Tips

The official Fantasy Premier League game has returned for the new season. This is not necessarily goodfpl news.

This year, the opening day of the fantasy football season, which always kicks off long before any actual teams take the field, marks an important milestone in the transition from the high drama of the World Cup to the rather less dramatic mid-July horse-trading of the summer transfer window. (The online football community seems to think that this transition should be carefully stage-managed, lest anyone suffer the psychological letdown that can accompany the end of major tournaments.) Earlier this week, Germany beat Argentina in the World Cup final; the memory of Gotze’s winning goal is still fresh, and pictures of German players consuming alcohol in interesting ways are still surfacing on the Internet. And yet the Fantasy Premier League is already open for business. For better or worse, it’s time to move on.

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The Curse of the Michael Jackson Statue

Mohamed Al Fayed gave a slightly bizarre interview today in which he claimed, among other things, that al fayed mjFulham was relegated because owner Shahid Khan removed the infamous Michael Jackson statue from Craven Cottage. Al Fayed, who commissioned the statue in 2011, sold Fulham to Kahn last summer.

“The new owner will regret it because I warned him,” Al Fayed said. “I said, ‘You will pay with blood for that,’ because it was something loved by the people. He’s been relegated and if he wakes up he’ll ask for Michael Jackson again, and I’ll say ‘No way.’”

I once posed for a photograph in front of the MJ statue, so I am definitely qualified to judge the validity of Al Fayed’s theory. And I think he might be onto something.

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What’s Happened to Manchester United?

The manager: It seems almost inconceivable now, but nine months ago the media loved David Moyes. David Moyes believes Manchester United need to sign 'one or two' playersFourFourTwo published a fawning profile. Columnists praised him for guiding Everton to fifth place. And in a fit of enthusiasm, an Israeli newspaper erroneously claimed he was Jewish.

Since then, it has become increasingly clear that for all his accomplishments at Goodison Park – and I’m not convinced there were quite as many as some people think – Moyes is neither charismatic enough to inspire a dressing room full of bloated egos nor courageous enough to put his best attacking players in the same XI. Rooney, Januzaj, van Persie, and Mata would probably form a dangerous, flexible attacking unit, but Moyes, whose Everton team won plenty of games but never threatened to entertain anybody, isn’t interested.

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Someone Should Make Howard Webb Talk

It’s been a bad week for Howard Webb. Fans are still parsing his controversial performance in Chelsea’s howard webb2-1 win over Liverpool, and on New Year’s Day, David Moyes called his failure to award Ashley Young a penalty “scandalous…an incredible decision, probably one of the worst I think I saw.”

It’s also been a bad week for Mark Clattenburg, whom Southampton has accused of  “insulting” playmaker Adam Lallana. (Never mind that, as alleged insults go, this one isn’t particularly offensive.) Clattenburg has been through this before. In 2012, John Obi Mikel accused him of racial abuse. It later emerged that Mikel hadn’t actually heard the abuse – he’d merely heard rumors in the Chelsea dressing room – and Clattenburg was eventually cleared of all wrongdoing. Mikel, however, received a three-match ban for using “threatening and/or abusive and/or insulting words and/or behaviors” when he charged into Clattenburg’s office screaming bloody murder.

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The Top Three Football Media Developments of 2013

NBC’s Premier League coverage: It’s hard to say whether NBC’s Premier League coverage has nbc premier leagueearned such widespread adulation because of Rebecca Lowe’s slick transitions between games and Robbie Earle’s clever studio analysis, or merely because the network decided not to recruit Warren Barton. I honestly don’t know, but I’m pretty certain that NBC won over a lot of doubters simply by not hiring the superhumanly stupid former defender.

The Ted Lasso video helped, too.

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